This is a very rough draft of my Narrative Essay. Any advice or comments are welcome :)
"And now, the West Albany Hi-Steppers!!!!"
It was time. All of our hard work had amounted to this moment right here. As my dance team slowly, gracefully walked out onto the former basketball court, I knew every member of my dance team was as anxious as I was. It was the state competition and we had furiously practiced for this moment for months. Every step was ingrained in my deepest memory. Everyone was counting on each other to know all the details of the dance we were about to perform. The dedicatory words of the dance started and we took position. I could barely make out the faces of my family, but I knew they were seated in the largest stadium in the state. Both sets of grandparents had shown up ready to watch what I had been working so hard on for months. Lying on the ice-cold court, ready for coach to cue music, my heart was pounding in my chest. I was sure everyone in the stadium could see the girl on the floor, shaking like a leaf.
When the music started, and we preformed what we had been working on for so long, it was amazing. I was scared for all of us, but when I heard that beginning note a new, peaceful feeling settled over me. I knew that my body was trained for this, and hardly had to think at all. I had practiced for this moment and was ready. This sudden calm side of me took over and I could feel the emotion pouring from my body. Because we had practiced so hard, everyone knew exactly what to do. This is what we had trained for. As I looked towards the judges, trying to convey to them exactly how I felt, I could see my family cheering out of the corner of my eye. Coach was crying in the third row, and as the song ended most of us were crying as well.
We ran off the court and everyone embraced. The tears of joy of competing mixed with the tears of sadness. We were happy to have accomplished what we had been working for, but were sad that it all had now come to an end.
dialogue? Good details and description though :), I definitely could feel myself being in that situation, relatable YES! UMMM, i'm not exactly sure what your implied central meaning was... perhaps, when you work hard for something you accomplish, you can believe in yourself. Perhaps make it more clear... overall i like it :)
ReplyDelete